The Boys From Lady Antebellum Give Once In A Lifetime Performance

Dick Fantastic and the Fabulous Four Skins is the best band on the planet. Headed up by eccentric front man Dick Foreskin with his right hand man, “The Thunder From Down Under” Queef Urban, the band played to a sold out 3rd and Lindsley last night. And although they allegedly just got off tour with John Tesh, you may be asking yourself, “who are these Fabulous Four Skins?”

It’s Charles Kelley and Dave Haywood from Lady Antebellum.

Dick Fantastic and The Fabulous Four Skins

Dave Haywood and Charles Kelley as Dick Fantastic and The Fabulous Four Skins

That’s right, while Hillary Scott is on maternity leave until November, the boys of Lady A must have gotten a little bored… actually it looks like they got a lot bored. Donned in ridiculous 80’s-inspired costumes, Charles and Dave tried their hardest to ruin any good standing reputation they may have had in the Nashville community. And it was the most incredible thing one could ever see.

The name of the band itself, of course, led to many phallic-based jokes and innuendo. Opening act Striking Matches (who played a serious and incredible set) began by having trouble figuring out how best to thank Dick for inviting them on:

“We can’t say ‘it’s so great to play with Dick…’ how about ‘it’s great to open up for… nope, that’s worse.’”

This lasted until the encore when the sold out crowd began chanting… you guessed it: “We want Dick.”

Toilet humor (albeit hilarious toilet humor) aside, the Dick Fantastic character was sidesplitting funny all by himself. Complete with a lisp and an effeminate rock star voice, Charles never broke character – although after several drinks, he did accidentally refer to Dave as “Dave” once. After opening with When Doves Cry by Prince, he got the Lady Antebellum thing out of the way:

“People are always talking. They say we look a lot like those guys from Lady Antebellum. I hate that band. Such a stupid ass name.”

The rest of the set list ranged from Rosanna by Toto, to Soul Provider by Michael Bolten, to I’m Gonna Be (5,000 Miles) by… whoever the hell sang that song. As with any amazing cover band, the beginning of each song was met with roaring applause and alcohol-infused dance moves. Dick even invited the audience up to slow dance on stage, if they felt so inclined… many did.

In between songs, Dick would poke fun at the whole charade, saying things like “our career is definitely over,” and “this is probably one of those things that was a good idea tonight, but when we wake up tomorrow it’s going to have been a really bad idea.”

Dick would also frequently invite up someone who went by the name Jerks Gently (sound it out, he’s a country singer) who was apparently in attendance, but Jerks never took him up on the opportunity. Dick also utilized his stuffed zebra fanny pack to its full potential (which he apparently got from one of the LMFAO guys – for real), occasionally throwing lollipops to the crowd.

In my opinion, the show ended a little prematurely. (See what I did there?) It could have been because the band was literally put together in two days, or perhaps because they were taking free shots of Makers Mark all night. Either way, Let’s Stay Together by Al Green ended the night, as did the final disclaimer by Dick Fantastic as he leaned on his mic stand for support:

“Please forget everything you just saw tonight… no but seriously.”

Oops.

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